your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
