i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
