I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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