? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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