Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I am spending my child support on dildos
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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