I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
