I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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