Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
