Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
