Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
