I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
