I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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