She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
