Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
