Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
