had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
