he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
All the doctor said was why
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
