I'm drive I can fine osifer
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
