i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
