I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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