My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
