im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
