i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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