it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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