Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
