My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
