ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
