It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
