we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
