Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Your dad touched me again.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
