I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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