when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize