Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
