That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize