Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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