Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm too high and old for this...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
