She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
