It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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