WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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