So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
