I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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