I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize