even my farts smell like vagina
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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