since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
