a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We're too hungover to prance.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
