How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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