Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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