$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
