Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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