Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
