Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
