I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
