he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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