i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
