Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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