so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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