That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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