I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize