eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize