I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
