and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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